yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
