Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
