at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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