Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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