some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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