Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
