Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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