One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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