At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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