3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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