:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
