I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
