If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
