Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
