yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
