Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
