Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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