No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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