Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
