I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
