That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
