Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
