Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize