Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
