There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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