and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize