I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
