piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
