Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
