Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
