I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Boobs are out for the taking
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
