you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
