bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
