Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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