I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
