Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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