It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
