I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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