chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize