It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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