Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
