hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize