I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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