Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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