...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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