apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just had sex on a roof
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
