just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
