so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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