We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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