hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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