she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
