he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
