fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
