thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
