dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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