So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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