These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This toilet bowl is my home.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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