this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
