I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
