I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
there's paper in my vomit.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
