Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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