i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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