Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
this hospital has no fireball
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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