I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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