Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
