the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
