had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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