I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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