You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
