As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
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