the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
