in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
