Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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