turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
