I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
