I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize