Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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