I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
