Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
birth control should be required to get into college
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
