hell yes lets make some ravioli
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
